Esprit

We drove past your high school, and it instantly took me back to when we were still close, you were still the sister I never had. Those staggered stairs took me back to that Halloween when we went into the ‘mini’ haunted house they set up in the halls.

And I won’t lie when I say my heart sank, and hurt literally. I gasped, tried to tell myself it’s ok and so am I. But I wasn’t, my heart hurt, I miss you. It seems, however, you had been done with me long before we went our ways; you started becoming more and more distant. And I realized part of it was just simply growing up, as far as having new responsibilities and not being able to see each other as often as before. But it seemed as time passed, and as your friends showed me more compassion, sympathy and kindness than you, I realized there was more; something was brewing in your mind about me that you wouldn’t let out. And for a while I thought I was just taking it too personal. You started progressively becoming colder and colder towards me. Now it seems, you were just waiting all along for an excuse to ‘properly’ hate me. You tested me and knew how I’d react, and ever since you haven’t tried to contact me. That hurts so much this doesn’t even describe it. Growing up you were my role model, my best friend, my sister. Now it seems if we were to brush shoulders in public, you wouldn’t even flinch or recognize me. But I guess this was meant to happen, that I should learn from this. Idk maybe in a past life I abandoned people and now I have to re-live that constant abandonment now. Still hurts though, and as much as I fight it and say I can’t stand you, I still love you and will always consider you my sister, and that’s what hurts the most, knowing you don’t.